Month: May 2014

An Uncertain Freedom

It was an uninspiring paper on The Crusades that saw the eclipse of my student status. I stepped out of the exam hall, onto Tottenham Court Road – the sun shining, everybody a little sticky and tired – and it was all over. We were suddenly free from revision and dissertation and weeks of being unnaturally conscious of the time. There was Pimms and cheap wine in Gordon Square – it was just the happiest of evenings. But with the dismal turn of the weather, that elation collapsed into listlessness. Bloody typical. I appear to have discovered a puritanical side of myself that I didn’t realise existed: I’m unable to properly enjoy myself until I know that everybody I care about has finished exams too. Urgh, empathy, such a kill-joy. So the past week or so has been very odd: A touch of guilt at being free, accompanied by the usual post-exam cocktail of waking up in a cold sweat on a regular basis; wondering aimlessly around supermarkets; reading the trashiest novel possible (currently, Stephen King’s Doctor Sleep); and generally being unsure what to Read More